Dinotopia Author James Gurney Announces New Book Featuring Poorly Photoshopped Dinosaurs Acting Out His Tragic Divorce

In a move that has baffled fans, art critics, and paleontologists alike, celebrated illustrator and author James Gurney has announced a new installment in his beloved Dinotopia series — this time replacing his signature watercolor mastery with hasty, poorly Photoshopped dinosaurs reenacting the emotional rollercoaster of his recent divorce.

Excitingly titled Dinotopia: The Emotional Extinction, the book promises to explore “love, loss, and lawyer fees” through a "paleontological and fantastical lens."

“I just didn’t have it in me to paint anymore,” Gurney said in a press release this Thursday, "so I opened Photoshop, downloaded a bunch of T. rex PNGs, and let the healing begin.”

Chapter Highlights

  • “Welcome to the Island of Broken Promises”: A Triceratops (representing Gurney, presumably) sits alone on a couch in the rain while a Stegosaurus walks away carrying half the furniture, badly cropped and floating two inches above the jungle floor.
  • “Custody of the Hatchlings”: A raptor judge rules over a custody battle featuring a nest of Yoshi eggs from Super Mario Bros. and a scheming Stegosaurus.
  • “The Mediation Swamp”: The Gurney stand-in and wife stand-in sit across from each other a table arguing over the reasons for the divorce, such as Gurney's squandering of their "nest egg" and an obscure reference to an "Applebee's Incident."

    • When asked if the Dinotopia franchise would return to its original tone in the future, Gurney shrugged.

    “Maybe. Or maybe I’ll just Photoshop a Pteranodon going on a Tinder date. Who knows. Love is extinct.”